Day Ten: Good Luck and Good Curling!

The only thing longer than our Day Ten drive was our Day Nine drive. Yesterday, our Seattle to Billings drive absolutely exhausted us. Today we woke up, got dressed, scraped the ice of our car, and prepared to do another 700 miles of driving. The difference here was that we had to be in Grand Forks, ND with enough time to get to our Extra Special Event by 7:00. Taking into account that we've lost two hours in the past two days... this was another long day. Another test of wills, of stomachs, and of patience. Luckily, North Dakota is famous for having a lot to look at.

It's almost midnight here in Grand Forks as I write this. But ever here, even now, I can hear you all crying out in one voice, asking: "But Shar-and-Mike! More than nine hours in the car for the second day in a row? However do you do it??" Before I answer you, let me just assure you that, though I am a jaded traveler now, speaking in unison still creeps me right the hell out. So stop that. Now. It's a valid question, however. So let me share with you some of the fun games Mike and I play while we zip along the interstate. Just wait! One of these tips may save your marriage one day!

1) Watch the road signs. It may shock you to your core to learn that the Montana and North Dakota stretches of our trip have been dotted with some of the most entertaining, offensive, and just plain weird signs ever in the history of signage. Yesterday, one of my favorites was a billboard advertising "The Center of the Universe!" which is evidently found in Wallace, Idaho. Today, while driving through a city looking for food, we came across an intersection for which signs in both directions read "E Boulevard Av." And, of course, this one:


2) Feed the driver. I'm not sure whether it's because Mike's left-handed or because I'm easily duped, but part of my responsibilities as passenger includes handing Mike various snacks and, in cases where precision is required, actually putting the food in his mouth. Turns out precision is required for McNuggets dipped in ketchup. When the real complicated stuff starts, I imagine I'll be perching over him regurgitating it into his chirping maw. The alternative, of course, is continuing to add fertilizer to the already fecund car, ripe for the mystical workings of spontaneous generation.

3) Talk about things that happened earlier in the trip. Hey, remember when we were in Salinas? We don't. This is not actually a fun game at all. Mike said, at one point, that if, in an hour, we were still arguing about which random stranger it was who had told us that "The Land of 10,000 Lakes" actually had more like 20,000, he was going to deem us unfit for travel and flip a U-ie for home.

4) Attempt to, using standard English, communicate a sentence or idea. Did I mention that we're exhausted? Today, while we munched on McFries, Mike asked me for a "packup ketchet" much to our mutual horror. But that certainly didn't top my excitement when I saw a bunch of animals (not cows) that were not immediately recognizable: "Oh! Look at they! What ims they? Ims they...they ships! They ships!"

5) Have something to which to look forward to. Yesterday, it was just a bed and a shower (and a water slide!). Today, it was the 2008 Men's World Curling Championship. Specifically, it was the 14th draw of the 50th annual world championship, held in the Ralph Engelstad Arena in Grand Forks, North Dakota. Yep, that's why we're here. I went into the arena without much experience with curling, except for the wikipedia descriptions which seemed really to be propaganda for the "Curling is the Most Ridiculous Sport Ever" lobby. There are mandated "good curling!" shouts and handshakes, for the love of football! I have to admit, though, that I am a convert. Once I figured out what was going on, it became a really fascinating display of talent and intelligence in a way completely different from, say, a normal sport. The normal handholds for girls at sporting events were noticeably lacking (these being, of course, hot athletes and dramatic sounds), but I still had a really shockingly good time. Plus, the Scottish team was pretty cute.



Tomorrow we head for the land of 20,000 lakes. It'll be a much shorter drive and there will be Peanuts statues at the end of it. Plus, we might run into Neil Gaiman!

Listened to: King James Version (Harvey Danger), Surfer Rosa (Pixies), The Cool (Lupe Fiasco), On the Road, and Scottish fans getting all the way through "Gimme an S! Gimme a C! Gimme an O!" without realizing how objectively ridiculous they were being.

Words De La Mystery: "Caravan"

Read Mike's blog (astoriedyear.blogspot.com) and his article about curling (soon to be up at LBPostSports.com)