I am lying on my right side. Mike is reading, and over my left shoulder his bedside light glows soft orange. My right hand is under my cheek. My left hand rests on my right bicep and my left elbow rests on my hip. My eyes are closed. I am going to sleep.
My left foot is an obtuse angle to my shin. I move my ankle, and my heel touches Mike's knee. I stretch out my leg, but my knee won't extend far enough to release the building tension in my calf. I pull my legs back up, and now my knees are touching each other. My left leg is bent up. Too high. My right leg is bent up. Perfect.
My right wrist needs to rotate. I pull it from under my cheek and now my fingers need to be extended. I grip the air. I ignore the growing fear in my chest. I am ok. I am ok. I breathe in and out and now the angle of my left arm is too acute.
I lie on my back. "Everything ok?" No. "Yes, I'm just getting anxious." The blanket is too heavy on my toes and my wrist still needs to rotate. I flex my calves and I can feel the fear spreading to my shoulders. I can breathe. I can still breathe.
I can't close my eyes tight enough. I can feel my contact lenses, and I can't blink hard enough to stop my irises from itching. My arms are too close to my body.
This is anxiety. I close my fists, and I open my fists again. I can feel my fingers and I feel my toes and my hair is tickling on the back of my neck and everything else is tight, tight, and I am afraid that I won't ever fall asleep because as much as I try to forget it the angle of my legs is still all wrong and I am squeezing my eyes tight and they are itching.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I will wake up in the morning and I will have slept. And tomorrow night, I will have another chance to make it on my first try. For now, I only have to slow down my heart and pull my hair back and then my knees will be right and it will be ok.
Breathe in.
I am ok.
Breathe out.
I am ok.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
SPOddities.
I'm about a month into my new position at Borders. Officially, I've moved from being a bookseller to a member of IPT, the group o kids who are in charge of taking stuff out of boxes and putting it on shelves. Actually, my new job is rather specialized: I get my own email address and my own desk full of interesting treasures (such as a dozen box cutters, a phone list for employees from when the store first opened, gold stickers with 79¢ printed on them), and lots of random responsibilities without any more money than I was making when I spent two hours of my average day leaning on the register, staring into space. Ah well.
One thing that's turned out to be a little weird about the SPO job is how much I now know about our regular customers. There's the obvious: emails, phone numbers, and preferred spellings of ridiculous names. But then there's the odd trivia. There's a lady who buys only cowboy romances, usually with three or four open orders at any given time. There's an old woman who seems to order based on the "I remember this, I should buy it" logic. Last time I talked to her on the phone, she described some generic plot points to me with the hope that I could name the movie for her. There's a guy who orders books about meditation that always arrive smelling of Nag Champa.
And then there's this guy:
I imagine him to be a tall, scrawny Indian fellow from England whose hair is a little to slicky and whose laugh is 40% brash and 60% mortified. And he's obsessed with Mariah Carey. Over the past two weeks he has placed about 15 orders for Mariah Carey products. Sometimes he orders twice to make sure he gets what he wants. There are the CDs you'd expect, of course: albums, best of's and the like. And there are DVDs: movies she's starred in, live concerts, and cheaply produced documentaries of her career from random music channels. And then there are the books. These books are almost all in what we in the biz call "Library Binding." Unlike normal hardcovers, with usually come with a dust jacket or something equally classy, these books have the cover art imprinted on the cardboard and then shellacked for protection. They have identical pictures of Mariah on the front and bear titles like Mariah Carey: Her Story. I imagine they are meant to inspire young girls, little divas-in-training. I do not know what my English Indian gentleman wants with them.
And, not knowing, I feel as if I know far too much.
One thing that's turned out to be a little weird about the SPO job is how much I now know about our regular customers. There's the obvious: emails, phone numbers, and preferred spellings of ridiculous names. But then there's the odd trivia. There's a lady who buys only cowboy romances, usually with three or four open orders at any given time. There's an old woman who seems to order based on the "I remember this, I should buy it" logic. Last time I talked to her on the phone, she described some generic plot points to me with the hope that I could name the movie for her. There's a guy who orders books about meditation that always arrive smelling of Nag Champa.
And then there's this guy:
I imagine him to be a tall, scrawny Indian fellow from England whose hair is a little to slicky and whose laugh is 40% brash and 60% mortified. And he's obsessed with Mariah Carey. Over the past two weeks he has placed about 15 orders for Mariah Carey products. Sometimes he orders twice to make sure he gets what he wants. There are the CDs you'd expect, of course: albums, best of's and the like. And there are DVDs: movies she's starred in, live concerts, and cheaply produced documentaries of her career from random music channels. And then there are the books. These books are almost all in what we in the biz call "Library Binding." Unlike normal hardcovers, with usually come with a dust jacket or something equally classy, these books have the cover art imprinted on the cardboard and then shellacked for protection. They have identical pictures of Mariah on the front and bear titles like Mariah Carey: Her Story. I imagine they are meant to inspire young girls, little divas-in-training. I do not know what my English Indian gentleman wants with them.
And, not knowing, I feel as if I know far too much.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Read my friends!
As I'm sure every single person reading this blarg knows, while Mike was at CSULB he spent a lot of his time and energy in the office of The Union Weekly, the student-run newspaper on campus. While there, he (and I) made a slew of awesome and extremely talented friends. How awesome? Well, four out of the ten members of our combined wedding party were Unionites. How talented? Well, they are, as a group, some of the best writers I've read. They're also really really funny and stupidly intelligent. They're also frustratingly underrated by the world outside the campus doors.
Take our good friend and favorite bud-bud J.J. Fiddler. When he took over the Union sports section in 2005, he revitalized a previously worthless page and made it one of the pages I turned to most eagerly each week. In 2006 he single-handedly, through the power of his editorials and a healthy amount of sheer determination, made CSULB basketball something to fill the student section over. And besides being the kind of guy people in college gear want to follow into gymnasiums, J.J. is a flat-out exceptional writer.
When The District Weekly started up in Long Beach approximately 27 weeks ago, it seemed like the perfect fit for a lot of Union alums. Their whole mission statement revolves around reporting culture and life in a Long Beach-specific context. And who knows better about Long Beach life than the amazing writers who'd spent their college careers talking about it? Certainly the editorial staff of the District, who produce a great publication, don't get me wrong, seem to miss out on some of the big things that make Long Beach not only great, but unique. It's not just all about cool hole-in-the-wall bars or art galleries. Sometimes it's stuff that makes the cover of one of the nation's most popular magazines.
In 2005 Sports Illustrated named Long Beach Poly High the top sports high school in America. Generally, my alma mater has a great athletics department that has produced national legends. Billie Jean King and Tony Gwynn both came through Poly's gates. But it would be impossible to talk about Poly sports without leaving 90% of the talking time for the Poly varsity football team which, as a public school, has sent more players to the NFL than any other high school in the country. And, though Poly is far and away the best football team in Long Beach (no bias here), it certainly isn't the only school playing the game.
Doesn't this seem like something The District, the self-proclaimed voice of the people of Long Beach, should be talking about? Or rather, since J.J. has been covering Moore League games since the start of the season, shouldn't it be something The District and its readers should be reading and paying attention to? As opposed to, say, ignoring and/or talking shit on?
Yeah, I think so too. Check J.J. out over at the Long Beach Post where he gives his mid-season Moore League report. And read him at The District too. He's doing a great job with not a lot of room to run. If this were the Union, I'd be all over that message board. Since it's not, I'll rant here instead and send my droves of readers to do my work for me.
Take our good friend and favorite bud-bud J.J. Fiddler. When he took over the Union sports section in 2005, he revitalized a previously worthless page and made it one of the pages I turned to most eagerly each week. In 2006 he single-handedly, through the power of his editorials and a healthy amount of sheer determination, made CSULB basketball something to fill the student section over. And besides being the kind of guy people in college gear want to follow into gymnasiums, J.J. is a flat-out exceptional writer.
When The District Weekly started up in Long Beach approximately 27 weeks ago, it seemed like the perfect fit for a lot of Union alums. Their whole mission statement revolves around reporting culture and life in a Long Beach-specific context. And who knows better about Long Beach life than the amazing writers who'd spent their college careers talking about it? Certainly the editorial staff of the District, who produce a great publication, don't get me wrong, seem to miss out on some of the big things that make Long Beach not only great, but unique. It's not just all about cool hole-in-the-wall bars or art galleries. Sometimes it's stuff that makes the cover of one of the nation's most popular magazines.
In 2005 Sports Illustrated named Long Beach Poly High the top sports high school in America. Generally, my alma mater has a great athletics department that has produced national legends. Billie Jean King and Tony Gwynn both came through Poly's gates. But it would be impossible to talk about Poly sports without leaving 90% of the talking time for the Poly varsity football team which, as a public school, has sent more players to the NFL than any other high school in the country. And, though Poly is far and away the best football team in Long Beach (no bias here), it certainly isn't the only school playing the game.
Doesn't this seem like something The District, the self-proclaimed voice of the people of Long Beach, should be talking about? Or rather, since J.J. has been covering Moore League games since the start of the season, shouldn't it be something The District and its readers should be reading and paying attention to? As opposed to, say, ignoring and/or talking shit on?
Yeah, I think so too. Check J.J. out over at the Long Beach Post where he gives his mid-season Moore League report. And read him at The District too. He's doing a great job with not a lot of room to run. If this were the Union, I'd be all over that message board. Since it's not, I'll rant here instead and send my droves of readers to do my work for me.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The prices of things
So, I'm almost done with my second week back at work. It's an odd, but mostly pleasant experience to be back to a daily grind-esque sort of schedule with the wonderful addition of a real live hubby to come home to. The daily grind part is odd. I'm working 9-5 now, as opposed to the random assortment of 8 hour shifts starting at 7 am on some days and ending at midnight on others. While I was gone, there were about 6 new hires, and about 4 of the people I had expected to see again have quit. So it's a different place than it was when I left, but that's ok. I'm different too, after all.
This week I started training for my new position: Special Orders Troll of Borders at the Pike. I'm pretty sure that's the official title, although it might be "goblin." Turns out a lot of this new job involves waiting around for things to happen. There are orders to be processed in the morning, and then it's mostly waiting for shipments to arrive, usually around the middle of the day. So I think I'm going to be bored, probably a lot. We'll see... training is a lot different than the real thing.
Today I found a book called something like Long Beach in Vintage Postcards or somesuch. Flipping it open, I was struck by what a bustling area downtown Long Beach, especially the Pike and its surroundings used to be. Now, of course, not so much the case. It breaks my heart to direct inquisitive customers to the Wal-Mart up the street, but it's by far the closest music store, electronics store, clothing store, and office supply store. Lame.
Here's something that's not so lame: there was a postcard of a beautiful downtown Long Beach building that rented out apartments for $32 a month. A buddy at work pays $800 a month for his studio apartment. Bored, I figured it out. The 1925 apartment cost 4% of what the 2007 apartment does. For shits & giggles, I estimated the cost of a gallon of milk, a pack of cigarettes, and a few other common items. Then I performed the essential calculation:
This week I started training for my new position: Special Orders Troll of Borders at the Pike. I'm pretty sure that's the official title, although it might be "goblin." Turns out a lot of this new job involves waiting around for things to happen. There are orders to be processed in the morning, and then it's mostly waiting for shipments to arrive, usually around the middle of the day. So I think I'm going to be bored, probably a lot. We'll see... training is a lot different than the real thing.
Today I found a book called something like Long Beach in Vintage Postcards or somesuch. Flipping it open, I was struck by what a bustling area downtown Long Beach, especially the Pike and its surroundings used to be. Now, of course, not so much the case. It breaks my heart to direct inquisitive customers to the Wal-Mart up the street, but it's by far the closest music store, electronics store, clothing store, and office supply store. Lame.
Here's something that's not so lame: there was a postcard of a beautiful downtown Long Beach building that rented out apartments for $32 a month. A buddy at work pays $800 a month for his studio apartment. Bored, I figured it out. The 1925 apartment cost 4% of what the 2007 apartment does. For shits & giggles, I estimated the cost of a gallon of milk, a pack of cigarettes, and a few other common items. Then I performed the essential calculation:
5318008 x .04 = 212720.32
That's right. In 1925, the approximate cost of seeing "boobies" upside-down in the calculator was just a tad over 200 thousand. Amazing.
Boobies.
That's right. In 1925, the approximate cost of seeing "boobies" upside-down in the calculator was just a tad over 200 thousand. Amazing.
Boobies.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Scene: Saturday morning, breakfast
[Mike's cell phone rings]
Mike: Hello?
Tiny Asian Lady Caller: Is Shar there?
Mike: Um... yeah. Hold on.
[Mike hands his cell phone to Shar]
Shar: Hello?
TALC: Is Shar there?
Shar: This is Shar.
TALC: Wrong number. [hangs up]
Mike: Hello?
Tiny Asian Lady Caller: Is Shar there?
Mike: Um... yeah. Hold on.
[Mike hands his cell phone to Shar]
Shar: Hello?
TALC: Is Shar there?
Shar: This is Shar.
TALC: Wrong number. [hangs up]
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Wedding Disc 2: Shar's Music
We got married yesterday! There will be much more on that later. Mike and I made (with the help, and more importantly, the laptops) of many of our friends, two mix CDs of music that's been important to us for all our guests to take home. The first disc was (mostly) songs he's given to me. He wrote about them over at his blarg. The second disc was (mostly) songs I've given to him. Here's the tracklist and the story behind each song.
1. Broken Things- Lucy Kaplansky
When Mike and I were first falling in love, this song played in my head and on my stereo a lot. The line "you walked right into my darkness, speaking words so sweet..." perfectly describes how wonderful it was to find someone who was brave enough to stand by me when things weren't just happy sunshiny picnics for me.
2. Homeward Bound- Simon & Garfunkel
Throughout the five years we've been together, there have been many times I've been away, whether for a family trip, a singing responsibility, or just school. This song speaks to the frustration of being gone when everything you want is back at home waiting for you. As soon as I turned the corner and started the return trip, this song would be on my mind.
3. At Last- Etta James
One of those lovely jazz standards that gets played at weddings so often that it would be cliché if everyone who'd ever fallen in love didn't still get teary-eyed when they heard it. Last year, I sang this at a wedding reception and caught Mike's eye across the room.
4. Please Be Kind- Jane Monheit
This was on the first mix I made for Mike. When we first started going out, neither of us had a clue what we were doing. We just had to be careful with all of the trust and love we were giving to each other, making sure not to take anything for granted. I think it turned out okay.
5. I Know Why (And So Do You)- The Manhattan Transfer
This was also on that first mix. I remember a couple years ago, I was really upset because it was raining on my birthday. Mike and I walked down to Westwood, had a great dinner, and walked back in the downpour dancing and singing at the top of our (my) lungs. "I can see the sun when it's raining, hiding every cloud from my view..."
6. Come Away With Me- Norah Jones
The first time we heard this song was during an otherwise uninteresting episode of Saturday Night Live. We'd propped up on pillows on my dorm-room floor and were talking about other things when we both noticed, at the same moment, the beautiful song coming through our tiny TV's speakers. If ever we were to run away together, to live in a tiny cabin with just room for the two of us, this is the song we'd run to.
7. Radio Sweethearts- Kate Rusby
My whole time at UCLA, I shared a room with my roomie (and maid of honor) Robyn, whom Mike and I both adore. But it was tough having four years of not very much time spent just the two of us. When we had evenings together, we sometimes liked to push the tables and couches out of the way and dance. A lot of the time, it was to this song. Listen to it, I'm sure it's obvious why.
8. When I'm Sixty-Four- The Beatles
One of the top things I love about Mike's family (it's a long list) is his lovely grandparents. Just a few months after we started going out, Mike took me up to visit them, and we've shared countless meals and a few theater outings with them since then. They recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Their love is an inspiration to us. I'm happy to have such a wonderful growing-old partner.
9. The Promise- Tracy Chapman
This song has gotten us through some hard times. No matter how far we seem to get away from each other, no matter how long or difficult the low times are, we're always going to be coming back to each other.
10. You're My Soul and Inspiration- The Righteous Brothers
This is just a great love song we love to sing along to. So much of our relationship has been built on times in the car, listening to oldies radio stations and singing along. This is one of our favorites.
11. If You Only Knew- Kara's Flowers
The first time I heard this song, by the L.A. band that would eventually become Maroon 5, I knew I had to play it for Mike. It's talking about all of the little things that become big deals when in a relationship with any geographical distance involved-- especially when that distance has to be traveled on the 405 freeway.
12. I Believe- Stevie Wonder
I couldn't tell you why Stevie Wonder has been such a crucial part of our relationship. Part of it's gotta be that he does great Christmas music, and Christmas is our favorite holiday together. Whatever the reason, this song has all the classic Stevie, and it gets us every time.
13. Don't Mind Me- Lucy Kaplansky
Another song off that first mix. The line "I'm just a bit maniacal about you, and derailed when I'm without you" pretty much perfectly describes the insanity of falling in love at the end of summer, when free time spent together is about to become a rare and precious luxury.
14. Wild Honey- U2
I've always found the idea of eternal love, reincarnating since the beginning of time, to be a little out there (think Hawkman and Hawkgirl). But I love the idea of Mike and me being monkeys too much to not love this song.
15. Heavenly Day- Patty Griffin
This is off Patty Griffin's newest album, which just happened to be on overhead play for the first month of my job at Borders. It was a rough transition for us to go from seeing each other all day every day to having to schedule our lives around work. But every time I heard this song (which was probably five times a day) I got the gentle reminder that we don't need anything other than to be together to make it a perfect day.
16. Just You Tonight- Lucy Kaplansky
One of the benefits to having a humble beginning to our relationship is that we don't easily get distracted by the trappings of romance. There were no clinking champagne glasses or fancy dinnerware to help us along the way. It was just the two of us, and that turned out to be more than enough to build on.
17. Our Love is Here to Stay- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
I have always had a soft spot for vocal jazz, ever since my middle school choir teacher first told me I would love Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross. Ella & Louis have some of my favorite vocal duets ever. "The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know may just be passing fancies, and in time may go..." has been a fun line to think about as a whirlwind of technology swirls around us. Our relationship started with a dial-up modem and a landline phone. Right now, we're writing on our bed with our Apple laptops propped up in front of us. Who knows where we'll be in another five years? But we'll be next to each other, so it'll be great.
18. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Ella & Louis again. It's more or less literal-- I get cold really easily, and there's nothing like snuggling up to the man I love, under the arm that's molded itself to fit my shoulders, to make me feel all wrapped up and cozy.
19. Danny's Song- Anne Murray
One of my favorite songs to sing at the top of my lungs. Besides the beautiful chorus, I love the line "if you find he helps your mind, better take him home." Long, long conversations with Mike about everything we can think of have made me think about life in a hundred new ways. He's probably the smartest guy I know, and we're going to have hairy little genius babies.
20. Two of Us- Aimee Mann & Michael Penn
It's a Beatles song, but I think I might like it better the way it is on the I Am Sam soundtrack, as a duet between a man and his lady. I don't care where we're going-- life is better with a Mike in the seat beside you. We're lucky enough to have had a cross-country road trip and thousands of miscellaneous other miles of adventures together. And we have so much road still ahead of us.
21. The Luckiest- Ben Folds
This is our song. It's what was playing when Mike first said he loved me. It's what we clear the furniture away for on every anniversary, and it's what we danced our first dance to at our wedding reception. And it says for us so many things that we have spent the past five years showing to each other. I am so lucky to have Mike, and we are lucky to have each other. I'll never forget that. But it's not just luck. He is such my perfect match that I have to believe that, instead of as high school sophomores, if we met for the first time in sixty years as old, old people, we'd look at each other then in our wrinkly old eyes and we'd still know. Instead, we get to spend all that time together, and, because of that, I count myself the luckiest.
1. Broken Things- Lucy Kaplansky
When Mike and I were first falling in love, this song played in my head and on my stereo a lot. The line "you walked right into my darkness, speaking words so sweet..." perfectly describes how wonderful it was to find someone who was brave enough to stand by me when things weren't just happy sunshiny picnics for me.
2. Homeward Bound- Simon & Garfunkel
Throughout the five years we've been together, there have been many times I've been away, whether for a family trip, a singing responsibility, or just school. This song speaks to the frustration of being gone when everything you want is back at home waiting for you. As soon as I turned the corner and started the return trip, this song would be on my mind.
3. At Last- Etta James
One of those lovely jazz standards that gets played at weddings so often that it would be cliché if everyone who'd ever fallen in love didn't still get teary-eyed when they heard it. Last year, I sang this at a wedding reception and caught Mike's eye across the room.
4. Please Be Kind- Jane Monheit
This was on the first mix I made for Mike. When we first started going out, neither of us had a clue what we were doing. We just had to be careful with all of the trust and love we were giving to each other, making sure not to take anything for granted. I think it turned out okay.
5. I Know Why (And So Do You)- The Manhattan Transfer
This was also on that first mix. I remember a couple years ago, I was really upset because it was raining on my birthday. Mike and I walked down to Westwood, had a great dinner, and walked back in the downpour dancing and singing at the top of our (my) lungs. "I can see the sun when it's raining, hiding every cloud from my view..."
6. Come Away With Me- Norah Jones
The first time we heard this song was during an otherwise uninteresting episode of Saturday Night Live. We'd propped up on pillows on my dorm-room floor and were talking about other things when we both noticed, at the same moment, the beautiful song coming through our tiny TV's speakers. If ever we were to run away together, to live in a tiny cabin with just room for the two of us, this is the song we'd run to.
7. Radio Sweethearts- Kate Rusby
My whole time at UCLA, I shared a room with my roomie (and maid of honor) Robyn, whom Mike and I both adore. But it was tough having four years of not very much time spent just the two of us. When we had evenings together, we sometimes liked to push the tables and couches out of the way and dance. A lot of the time, it was to this song. Listen to it, I'm sure it's obvious why.
8. When I'm Sixty-Four- The Beatles
One of the top things I love about Mike's family (it's a long list) is his lovely grandparents. Just a few months after we started going out, Mike took me up to visit them, and we've shared countless meals and a few theater outings with them since then. They recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Their love is an inspiration to us. I'm happy to have such a wonderful growing-old partner.
9. The Promise- Tracy Chapman
This song has gotten us through some hard times. No matter how far we seem to get away from each other, no matter how long or difficult the low times are, we're always going to be coming back to each other.
10. You're My Soul and Inspiration- The Righteous Brothers
This is just a great love song we love to sing along to. So much of our relationship has been built on times in the car, listening to oldies radio stations and singing along. This is one of our favorites.
11. If You Only Knew- Kara's Flowers
The first time I heard this song, by the L.A. band that would eventually become Maroon 5, I knew I had to play it for Mike. It's talking about all of the little things that become big deals when in a relationship with any geographical distance involved-- especially when that distance has to be traveled on the 405 freeway.
12. I Believe- Stevie Wonder
I couldn't tell you why Stevie Wonder has been such a crucial part of our relationship. Part of it's gotta be that he does great Christmas music, and Christmas is our favorite holiday together. Whatever the reason, this song has all the classic Stevie, and it gets us every time.
13. Don't Mind Me- Lucy Kaplansky
Another song off that first mix. The line "I'm just a bit maniacal about you, and derailed when I'm without you" pretty much perfectly describes the insanity of falling in love at the end of summer, when free time spent together is about to become a rare and precious luxury.
14. Wild Honey- U2
I've always found the idea of eternal love, reincarnating since the beginning of time, to be a little out there (think Hawkman and Hawkgirl). But I love the idea of Mike and me being monkeys too much to not love this song.
15. Heavenly Day- Patty Griffin
This is off Patty Griffin's newest album, which just happened to be on overhead play for the first month of my job at Borders. It was a rough transition for us to go from seeing each other all day every day to having to schedule our lives around work. But every time I heard this song (which was probably five times a day) I got the gentle reminder that we don't need anything other than to be together to make it a perfect day.
16. Just You Tonight- Lucy Kaplansky
One of the benefits to having a humble beginning to our relationship is that we don't easily get distracted by the trappings of romance. There were no clinking champagne glasses or fancy dinnerware to help us along the way. It was just the two of us, and that turned out to be more than enough to build on.
17. Our Love is Here to Stay- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
I have always had a soft spot for vocal jazz, ever since my middle school choir teacher first told me I would love Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross. Ella & Louis have some of my favorite vocal duets ever. "The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know may just be passing fancies, and in time may go..." has been a fun line to think about as a whirlwind of technology swirls around us. Our relationship started with a dial-up modem and a landline phone. Right now, we're writing on our bed with our Apple laptops propped up in front of us. Who knows where we'll be in another five years? But we'll be next to each other, so it'll be great.
18. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Ella & Louis again. It's more or less literal-- I get cold really easily, and there's nothing like snuggling up to the man I love, under the arm that's molded itself to fit my shoulders, to make me feel all wrapped up and cozy.
19. Danny's Song- Anne Murray
One of my favorite songs to sing at the top of my lungs. Besides the beautiful chorus, I love the line "if you find he helps your mind, better take him home." Long, long conversations with Mike about everything we can think of have made me think about life in a hundred new ways. He's probably the smartest guy I know, and we're going to have hairy little genius babies.
20. Two of Us- Aimee Mann & Michael Penn
It's a Beatles song, but I think I might like it better the way it is on the I Am Sam soundtrack, as a duet between a man and his lady. I don't care where we're going-- life is better with a Mike in the seat beside you. We're lucky enough to have had a cross-country road trip and thousands of miscellaneous other miles of adventures together. And we have so much road still ahead of us.
21. The Luckiest- Ben Folds
This is our song. It's what was playing when Mike first said he loved me. It's what we clear the furniture away for on every anniversary, and it's what we danced our first dance to at our wedding reception. And it says for us so many things that we have spent the past five years showing to each other. I am so lucky to have Mike, and we are lucky to have each other. I'll never forget that. But it's not just luck. He is such my perfect match that I have to believe that, instead of as high school sophomores, if we met for the first time in sixty years as old, old people, we'd look at each other then in our wrinkly old eyes and we'd still know. Instead, we get to spend all that time together, and, because of that, I count myself the luckiest.
Friday, August 24, 2007
An Anniversary Blarg
Today is a special day for me and Mike! Five years ago today, Mike and I had what we later decided was our first date. Since Mike was more-or-less bedridden after his ankle surgery and was certainly wheelchair-ridden (wheelchair-riding?), our first date actually consisted of us sitting in his living room watching Lord of the Rings. It might not have been glamorous, but I think it turned out alright. Here's what we looked like that year:
Today also marks two years since Mike proposed. We'd gone up to Arrowhead for our third anniversary. Mike, who's terrible at keeping secrets, had had "gonna propose to Shar" written all over his face for weeks. It wasn't a surprise, but it was still sweet and wonderful and all of those lovely things a marriage proposal is supposed to be. Plus, I pretended it was a surprise, so that was great too. This is us that year:
And today is the official seven-day countdown till the wedding. I'm sitting on the couch watching Mike play Mario Strikers right now, but at this time next week, we'll probably be leaving the reception, having been pronounced husband and wife several hours earlier. It's been a crazy last few months, and next week is gonna be insane, but it's really nice to have today to relax a little and just reflect on who we are and where we came from. We've got quite a nice little history together so far, and I sure can't wait to see what's coming up next. There's nothing quite as wonderful as knowing that, whatever the adventure ahead of us in the years to come, we're going to be adventuring together. And, when we're old old people, if we haven't already evolved away from computers by then, maybe I'll have some really neat pictures to post up here so you can see how much we've grown together.
Today also marks two years since Mike proposed. We'd gone up to Arrowhead for our third anniversary. Mike, who's terrible at keeping secrets, had had "gonna propose to Shar" written all over his face for weeks. It wasn't a surprise, but it was still sweet and wonderful and all of those lovely things a marriage proposal is supposed to be. Plus, I pretended it was a surprise, so that was great too. This is us that year:
And today is the official seven-day countdown till the wedding. I'm sitting on the couch watching Mike play Mario Strikers right now, but at this time next week, we'll probably be leaving the reception, having been pronounced husband and wife several hours earlier. It's been a crazy last few months, and next week is gonna be insane, but it's really nice to have today to relax a little and just reflect on who we are and where we came from. We've got quite a nice little history together so far, and I sure can't wait to see what's coming up next. There's nothing quite as wonderful as knowing that, whatever the adventure ahead of us in the years to come, we're going to be adventuring together. And, when we're old old people, if we haven't already evolved away from computers by then, maybe I'll have some really neat pictures to post up here so you can see how much we've grown together.
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